The sun shall rise.

After what proved to be a very stormy night I was met with a restless, non existent sleep. Upon realizing that it was nearly dawn and I was still wide awake from the night before- I decided that a morning greeted by the rise of the sun might result in a drastic improvement on my mood.

I gathered up my comforter and trudged over the dunes and out to the beach. I took a seat on a familiar log, turned my face to the east and waited calmly. It had been a long night of waiting- for a revelation, for peace, for solitude, or for rest. None had been delivered and here I was awaiting some profundity that may not occur.

As I looked over my shoulder I could still see the moon high in the sky reminding me of what it had witnessed, and choosing to ignore it turned my face expectantly back to the impending arrival of the sun.

The sky began to lighten and I could see that a dark cloud, almost as if it had been left over from the night- still saturated with night's darkness; unwilling to let go.. Was maneuvering itself gracefully across the sky in the exact place the light of day was coming from. I began to feel nervous- twitchy even at the thought of some remnants of the night before bearing weight on the potential of such a beautiful day.

I waited as the sky around me turned from a dark fog to a gray-blue. I waited and waited for the smiling face of the sun to oppose the sneer of the moon. But nothing. Beyond the wall of oppressive storm clouds I could see the fragments of flirtatious pinks and golds of a perfect sunrise. I could not help but think of those little specks of humanity able to see such a wonder of nature this morning. I couldn't help but wonder where I needed to be to see the clear new day I longed for.

As the impending gloom threatened rain I began to give up. I was prepared to gather the comforter around me and insert myself back into the gloom of our darkened and barren house. But alas, nature- in it's most reliable of ways; gave me a glimpse of the sun. For only a moment the blood orange halo of the sun broke through and gave way to a small glimpse of the seemingly impossible.. Reminding me that all things are possible when you are relying on something true. In that moment I was breathless, caught unawares of the hope I would see flashed at me for only a moment. I breathed deeply, eager to fill my lungs with something light and so full of possibility- and for a moment; a millisecond, I felt cathartic. I felt free to make my own sunrises and sunsets. I remembered what is was to choose and to choose wisely.

With a small smile I hobbled up to the house and waited for a bed to be free in hopes that I could sleep soon. There is little rest for the weary, but there is no knowing moon watching me any longer. For the first time in a while I feel that when I see that moon again he will be smiling, and he will be smiling for me.