New Chapter?

Sometimes when something is over it never really feels that way. I just had my last day at my first really- real job and it feels like it's still a-buzzing in my life. Part of it is that so many of my friends and acquaintances are affiliated with that job, and part of it is probably because my last day was rather anti-climactic.

I am curious to see if in a week or so it dawns on me. I woke up in a funk this morning and thought at first that it was because my brain was telling my body it was the last time it would ever drag itself up and out of bed to go roam the halls of a school for autism. But then I realized I was just groggy and had slept a little awkwardly as well. I went to work and and did my job, just like I do everyday. We had a celebration as we often do although- embarrassingly enough- it was for me this time. Even then, it's a friday. We all had reports and cleaning to do and everyone wants to go home.

Not to say everyone didn't do a phenomenal job sending me off. I will miss them sincerely. In no other job could I firmly believe that my co-workers were in fact my friends and that they cared about me. Not to mention any little shitty thing that happens at this job generally isn't bullshit- unlike other jobs I've worked in. Not that it is devoid of bullshit, or bullshit free if you will.. Just adequately logical.

I am getting ready to turn to a new chapter in my life and it is a little daunting. Never before have I embarked on a journey where I was not completely sure I would succeed at my endeavors. This may be because it is the most responsibility and freedom I've ever been given in a job, or it might be because it's something I want legitimately to be good at. I want to be a great teacher and I know from experience that "great teacher" is more easily said than done. I have the knowledge they want and need, I only hope I can deliver it in a manner that is worth everyone's time and energy.

I have big dreams and very tangible fears for this job. I'm wishing myself luck and the sanity to keep on trucking... even though I really loathe that saying.

peace in the middle east, hasta pasta fazoli, and whatever parting sayings I thought were cool when I was 12.